The Plea of the Teacher

When the education industry finds itself under attack from budget hawks and fiscal conservatives, the teacher usually responds with a variation of a certain plea, which generally involves their stern objection to the perceived slight on the legitimacy of their profession. "They think that anyone could do our job", they say. "They think that we are lazy, that we are overpaid babysitters, that we don't deserve the money we earn. They have no idea how taxing this work is! They complain of tenure, but without it, we would be at risk of utterly arbitrary and capricious firings!"

There is, in my opinion, a much more solid defense of the teacher than this argument, which is easily refuted simply by noting that the first contradicts the maxim "No one s fit to be the judge of his own cause" and the second can be answered by a simple "Shit happens"--note how there is no caveat that exempts teachers from either law. If we were to pay all professionals what they thought they deserved, we would never finish counting the zeros; and if all employees were absolutely protected from unfair personnel decisions, we would all need our own private attorneys on retainer.

The better case in favor of the teacher goes like this:

Look, we know that this industry is a jumble of rackets siphoning money needlessly from taxpayers, but so is every other industry! Wall Street banks loot hundreds of millions of dollars every day from private industry, and they no longer even perform a legitimate economic function. It is a casino for the super-rich that periodically tanks the entire global economy to reap a windfall; and they've just stolen over 9 TRILLION DOLLARS. Why don't you go after THEM?

Or do you think the lawyers are contributing to society in any meaningful way? All they do is put all sorts of legal obstacles in the way of any and all transactions so that every activity requires the services of a lawyer. That's a racket too. The corporate world is just an unending barrage of rackets designed to bestow favor on select few corporations that engage in anti-competitive hustles. The government is raising taxes, house prices and gas prices are constantly rising. Food prices are rising; college is becoming unaffordable. Do you think that teachers are living in luxury? Do you think it's just us in the hustle?? It's ALL a hustle. In the United States in the 21st Century, you don't survive unless you are part of some hustle. Why do you come after US? Ours is a relatively small-time scam.

This is, in my estimation, the most compelling case that teachers have against the reforms that are being put in place now. In the current economic environment, union perks are not cushy luxuries, but survival rafts in the face of hostile economic forces facing all of us at every turn. Furthermore, it is a fallacy to insist that teachers should be paid less simply because it is possible to pay them less without sacrificing quality. (The logic is a bit stronger when considering the fact that teachers are paid by the taxpayers, but Goldman Sachs is paying its employees bonuses in the tens of millions with taxpayer money.) There is nothing American about paying our workforce as little as possible.

Indeed, if the central issue were simply that schools were providing a quality (or even decent) education that happens to be highly overpriced, or even if the quality of education were poor and highly overpriced, teachers would be a far more sympathetic party to this controversy than they are now. But the problem is deeper than this. What we are paying through the nose for in New Jersey (although this situation could easily apply to any other state) is a very high quality, and very expensive diseducation. Teachers' salaries and benefits are not the issue, nor is efficiency. The American K-12 model is indeed highly effective and efficient as a means of ensuring that most children never attain an education or a meaningful livelihood, while perpetuating existing class divisions and stifling opportunity and mobility. A more potent ant-education system has arguably never been devised. (Future posts will make clear why.)

I have no qualms with teachers getting paid money. If the American K-12 model of education were in any way a benefit to students, I would not be clamoring to lay the schools on the chopping bloc during a budget crisis. I loudly advocate the destruction of the school system as we know it as an end in itself. The budget crisis is just an opportunity.